i am loveless

i am defenseless against you

against those inscrutable whispers that send me away

to somewhere unfamiliar, to the darkness of day.

 

i am defenseless against you

against those tenacious taunts that entangle my love

in an ocean of light, below and above.

 

i am defenseless against you

against those butterfly blows that treasure me so

and now i can’t imagine myself letting you go.

 

i am loveless without you

without your fate bound to my hands

because you’re the only one that really understands.

What are we?

I’m tired of the sugar-coating, tired of the lies,

I can see the resentment haunting in your eyes.

I don’t know when I lost you in the snow storm of our past,

But day after day, the layers piled on –

too cold, too thick, too fast.

 

I once called you my best friend, but as time wore us down,

I’ve come to finally realize that you’ve never been around.

I thought that as the sands trickled down the glass –

that you would never change

that we would stay the same,

But you’re no longer the person that I knew, the soul behind your name.

 

Yet you still stand by my side as if you know me well at all,

Yet you still expect my hand steadying your fall,

Yet you dare to judge me as if you’ve loved me all along,

But your words are spitfire of all that’s false and wrong.

 

Who are you? And what are we?

I’m hurt, but I still believe it mindlessly

That somehow, someway, somewhere soon,

We’ll be laughing together in the afternoon.

Entanglement

Speechless to you, to our fidelity,

You have taken and torn the words from me.

What I had yearned and craved to say for days

Disappeared in seconds amidst your gaze.

 

And some brilliance emits from our connection,

Fortifying my heart in its protection,

And no longer do I need to speak

In illustrating what it is I seek.

 

Love-encrusted blood pumping from my chest

Compels me to a smile that puts my thoughts to rest.

Devils turn to angels under your gentle, soothing tone,

Which I hope to keep forever – mine and mine alone.

 

In your presence, my desire bursts into flames,

Entangled ecstatically in our relationship games.

l’amour

this off-tune romance that seeps into veins

penetrates

the thickened walls of my thought-heavy heart

a burning touch

a subtle desire

a quake of appeal

a volcano of lust

your damned hair as soft as cotton

cursed eyes that glitter like diamond under the ugly white fluorescence

your words like butterflies – they flutter in my mind

linger when i need them gone

escape when i yearn once more

l’amour, l’amour

ravaging the core.

Echo

Demon shrieks and angel kisses encompass all of dawn. All of dawn.

Time slips past like an elusive shadow, it’s gone. It’s gone.

I’ll fall apart in your arms today as my dilemma bursts into flames. Into flames.

I’m tired of your broken promises, of your deception, and your claims. Your claims.

 

I’m angry and I very well know I shouldn’t be. I shouldn’t be.

Yet somehow I’m frustrated with my convoluted plea. Plea.

My mind is burning from the insanity, from questioning myself. Myself.

Books and memories are toppling off the shelf. The shelf.

 

I don’t see an end, I don’t see the way out. The way out.

I scream, shriek, squander, scold, and shout. And shout.

But nothing seems clear, I’m surrounded by haze. By haze.

Someone, something, somehow – release me from this blundering blaze. Blaze.

 

These voices inside my head – I hate them and I curse them every day. Every day.

Can anyone let me know – how to find my way? How to find my way?

Such Crippled Lust

I want to crush your heart into a thousand fragments for my pleasure,

for my pride.

I want to conquer all the oceans, shut down the moon’s pull,

stop the tide.

I want to accomplish the impossible, reverse what has been set,

I have tried.

 

Time and time and time again, they shake me loose, pour me

down the drain.

I can’t lose this time ’round, I’ve lost too much love and won

too much pain.

Infused into my body, into my flesh, into blood, every single

cursed vein.

 

I’ve fallen! My wings broken down from wear,

threatening to collapse into despair.

No one to catch me, no one should care,

I’m just waiting for my dreams to finally tear.

What is Mine?

We’ve long decided that we wouldn’t share,

What’s mine is not yours,

And what’s yours is not mine.

 

What is yours?

My love is yours.

Yours.

What is mine?

 

Those moments that glitter in the sunshine.

Those are yours.

Those laughs, smiles, hugs, and long conversations through the night.

Those are yours.

What is mine?

 

The lighthearted dinners, the small picnics in the field.

I yield those to you.

Yours.

What is mine?

 

Mine?

Heartbreak and heart ache.

That is mine and mine to keep.

What is mine?

 

The long fought out arguments and the shouting that doesn’t end.

That is mine.

The numbing nightmares that haunt these years and years to come.

That is mine.

 

This feeling of nostalgia, of sorrowful reminiscence.

This is mine.

 

You never wanted what belonged to me,

But I wished you would turn back and see

That I was longing for a piece of the happiness you took,

I was longing for another chance – one last look.