to die or to vivify

a soft flame flickers

on the boundary

between glorious hope

and absolute darkness

 

the faithful come

to pay their respects

they whisper a prayer

underneath their breaths

and disappear into the shadows

 

a storm stirs in the distance

and so we must wonder

if such a fragile illumination

will be able to bear

the onslaught

of the tempest.

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daybreak

Everybody makes mistakes. Forgive yourself.

—-

anguish

the dark behemoth that triumphs over

this murky mountainous mess

composed of all your wrong decisions.

 

you look behind you

but you can longer see the path

that led you here today

you can only move forward.

 

he bares his crimsom fangs

soaked in the blood of your past forsaken dreams

but there is no time to mourn

as he approaches

ready to strike again.

 

you whisper a soft prayer

but know that no one will come to your aid

and so you prepare for the impact

with your arms wide and legs rooted

you wait for his charge

straight into your embrace.

 

fighting was never the answer

and so you chose to forgive

you hold firm

as he sobs meekly in your arms

as you both grieve

for everything that could’ve been

should’ve been

and never will be.

 

as dawn appraoaches

he fades away

nothing more but a shadow once again

and before you

lies a boulevard that infinitely diverges

and no matter what you decide is the right direction

you know that hope will light the way.

until nothing remains

I built you up to be a giant

grand and gentle, fair and free

but really

you’re not so different from me

human, flawed, and fragile

tears are flooding through the cracks

and so we shatter

oh, how we shatter.

 

I pick up the pieces

and clutch them in my arms

they’re sharp and they sting

and I bleed from within

but I fear that they are all I have left

they are all I have left.

 

I’m sorry to have lived in fantasy

clueless and forlorn in melancholy

this isn’t who I was meant to be

but who I was I can no longer see.

 

drifting further on endless night

there is no comfort in this sleight

let me fade away into the dark

and leave me until I’m torn apart.

it all feels like ashes

these days have been feeling like disaster

with every moment that passes

I feel something shattering

I thought I was so sure of

who I loved

what I loved

and where on the horizon my dreams laid

but nothing feels like it’s in the right place

a transition from certainty to the unknown

is truly perplexing.

 

there is an inescapable gray

bleeding into my heart

but I can’t stop its rushing current

all I can do is lie here frozen

screaming for the colours

to come back.

at the boiling point

 

a plague that lingers near

a shadow without light

a cauldron filled with fear

a feral in the night

these sinister whispers

they root me to the ground

they left me in the waters

they left me here to drown.

 

 

I thought that I was stronger

I thought I could fight this war

but really you can’t know

when you haven’t done it before

I guess I learned the hard way

that just because you can

doesn’t mean you should

just because you’re not bad

doesn’t mean you’re good.

 

Convolution

For all those who wander are not lost.


For a long time

I’ve waited

to feel freedom

from beyond this fathomless trench

I spent years digging myself into.

 

But even as I walk down this golden path

I feel the tension beneath my feet

with every step

the shadows loom closer

taking delight in the consumption

of light hearts and gaiety.

 

it’s almost as if

someone has painted an ebony black

over the rainbow I had prized

as my most guarded dream

clearly

there is no such thing

as security.

 

Still I must not crumble

underneath this continuous weathering

the promise of better days

is not that far away

from beyond this blasted hurricane

I believe that clearer skies will light the way

towards a life that’s truly worth living.