I built you up to be a giant
grand and gentle, fair and free
you’re not so different from me
human, flawed, and fragile
tears are flooding through the cracks
and so we shatter
oh, how we shatter.
I pick up the pieces
and clutch them in my arms
they’re sharp and they sting
and I bleed from within
but I fear that they are all I have left
they are all I have left.
I’m sorry to have lived in fantasy
clueless and forlorn in melancholy
this isn’t who I was meant to be
but who I was I can no longer see.
drifting further on endless night
there is no comfort in this sleight
let me fade away into the dark
and leave me until I’m torn apart.
we lie crooked in stasis
beneath the unrelenting storm
our arms crossed and eyes closed
shivering as we await an ending
we question the path that has led us here
but by doubting, we show weakness
allowing fear to strike our hearts
like thunder howling through the night.
all we can say beyond these mistakes
is that time will still yet find a way
to heal these bleeding wounds
and just as the sun will always rise again
someday our broken spirits will begin to mend.
Even though I know we cannot coexist,
I still want to know what happened,
I still wish you were saved.
I wonder what kind of things you would have loved,
What passion would you breathe with in this world?
And even though I’ll never know you,
You’ll always live on within me.
these days have been feeling like disaster
with every moment that passes
I feel something shattering
I thought I was so sure of
who I loved
what I loved
and where on the horizon my dreams laid
but nothing feels like it’s in the right place
a transition from certainty to the unknown
is truly perplexing.
there is an inescapable gray
bleeding into my heart
but I can’t stop its rushing current
all I can do is lie here frozen
screaming for the colours
to come back.
a plague that lingers near
a shadow without light
a cauldron filled with fear
a feral in the night
these sinister whispers
they root me to the ground
they left me in the waters
they left me here to drown.
I thought that I was stronger
I thought I could fight this war
but really you can’t know
when you haven’t done it before
I guess I learned the hard way
that just because you can
doesn’t mean you should
just because you’re not bad
doesn’t mean you’re good.
caught you on the far side
pressed against a lie
conjurer of excuses
you have nowhere left to hide
broken promises scattered
in the wake of your descent
don’t know how to face you
does it matter in the end?
For all those who wander are not lost.
For a long time
to feel freedom
from beyond this fathomless trench
I spent years digging myself into.
But even as I walk down this golden path
I feel the tension beneath my feet
with every step
the shadows loom closer
taking delight in the consumption
of light hearts and gaiety.
it’s almost as if
someone has painted an ebony black
over the rainbow I had prized
as my most guarded dream
there is no such thing
Still I must not crumble
underneath this continuous weathering
the promise of better days
is not that far away
from beyond this blasted hurricane
I believe that clearer skies will light the way
towards a life that’s truly worth living.