with purpose

busy streets and the sweet smell of rain
the harrowing roar of the incoming train
we stare blankly, confused but so aware
we are lost, but we don’t seem to care

everyday, we searched for something more
and hoped that when we turned past each concrete corner
that we’d see something we’d never seen before
something to justify how long we’ve suffered within our lonely selves
something to bring back the light into the hollows of our eyes
something to answer the darkness drowning in our cries

there’s a bridge ahead
it creaks and moans
and we know that when we cross
it will fall apart beneath our feet
but we don’t need to hesitate
we know just where we need to be

our fingers lock
you hold me steady
we take each step in perfect synchrony
and we feel the warmth coursing through us
as the sun rises
banishing the demons of our past
we have found a new horizon at long last.

this castle of mine

there is a weakness emerging from the shadows that threatens to consume me

I’ve lost the will to stand and fight and so I cower within my fortress

I shut my eyes and cross my arms –

shift my thoughts into another place more gentle than this reality

I believe for a moment that I am safe in the haven of my own mind

but these walls will not protect me from the poison rising from the floor

every second, it creeps closer

and closer

until someday it will take my breath away

with no intention of giving it back.

 

as I brace myself for the surrender

I lean back against the cold stone

and to my surprise, a new path emerges – a secret of this castle

I find that I am no longer paralyzed from the depths of this malicious maelstrom

instead all around me, a growing sense of freedom

I open my eyes and there is hope where nothing existed before

a new chapter lies beyond this path

and I am honoured to be its witness.

daybreak

Everybody makes mistakes. Forgive yourself.

—-

anguish

the dark behemoth that triumphs over

this murky mountainous mess

composed of all your wrong decisions.

 

you look behind you

but you can longer see the path

that led you here today

you can only move forward.

 

he bares his crimsom fangs

soaked in the blood of your past forsaken dreams

but there is no time to mourn

as he approaches

ready to strike again.

 

you whisper a soft prayer

but know that no one will come to your aid

and so you prepare for the impact

with your arms wide and legs rooted

you wait for his charge

straight into your embrace.

 

fighting was never the answer

and so you chose to forgive

you hold firm

as he sobs meekly in your arms

as you both grieve

for everything that could’ve been

should’ve been

and never will be.

 

as dawn approaches

he fades away

nothing more but a shadow once again

and before you

lies a boulevard that infinitely diverges

and no matter what you decide is the right direction

you know that hope will light the way.

Convolution

For all those who wander are not lost.


For a long time

I’ve waited

to feel freedom

from beyond this fathomless trench

I spent years digging myself into.

 

But even as I walk down this golden path

I feel the tension beneath my feet

with every step

the shadows loom closer

taking delight in the consumption

of light hearts and gaiety.

 

it’s almost as if

someone has painted an ebony black

over the rainbow I had prized

as my most guarded dream

clearly

there is no such thing

as security.

 

Still I must not crumble

underneath this continuous weathering

the promise of better days

is not that far away

from beyond this blasted hurricane

I believe that clearer skies will light the way

towards a life that’s truly worth living.

But I am free.

It took me a long time to realize
that wrestling with my demons
only increased their resistance
so with every blow I inflicted
they retaliated with vengeance
a steady spiral into despair.

It took me a long time to realize
that conquering your demons
meant acknowledging their existence
forgiving instead of hating
accepting their place in your past
and moving on.

It took me a long time to realize
that drowning in depression
was allowing it to define who I am
but I am more than the barrage of hollow feelings
I am more than that lifeless shadow.

It took me a long time to realize
but I know it now
and I can feel the promise flowing in the air
and I can sense the magic lying everywhere
and I can finally see
with my eyes set free.

Saying “Goodbye”.

“You’ve changed.”

Hint of anger in his voice. Fists clenched. His eyes won’t meet mine.

 

“Yes.”

I reply. Calm. I take a deep breath, keeping the tears swelling in my eyes at bay. I’ll cry later when he’s not around. Crying now will only weaken my resolve.

 

“And I haven’t, have I?”

His eyebrows furrow in frustration. He steps closer. I move back. I need the distance.

 

“No.”

I grasp my left wrist with my right hand. Need. To. Stop. Shaking.

 

“Every time, something goes wrong in your life, I’m there for you. I’m dependable.

I know everything about you.

Every little secret.

And I make things better. I make you happy.

You can’t leave me now.

You need me.”

 

He lifts his head so that his eyes meet mine. His gaze is piercing. I shiver. But I do not fold. I retaliate.

“I needed you. Not anymore. Never again.”

 

He grimaces but quickly recovers. His expression softens. The corner of his lips curve into a smile.

“You’ll come back to me soon enough. You always do. Enjoy your little alone time.”

 

He laughs.

In the past, that would’ve been enough to crack me.

Now, I am unfazed.

 

“Goodbye.”

I turn and walk away without a second glance. His laughing stops.

 

“Wait!”

I don’t. My arms stop shaking. My entire body relaxes.

 

Psychologically and physically,

I am free.

Revolution

not sure what to make of it

not sure how to make it stop

you’re throwing poison in the air

fighting a war that just ain’t fair

 

justice becomes a ghost

when you throw daggers at her back

it’s enough already, you’ve got to see

the light ain’t where it used to be

 

you can’t escape day and night

you’re not faster than the speed of light

you’re not above the rest of us

presumptuous and vainglorious

 

I’ve seen enough of your damning ways

the twisted logic in your brain

you’re living in the past

of dynasty days

so stuck up in a foggy haze

 

you manipulate by telling lies

what do you suppose that signifies?

 

you are the bitter taste of indignation

the epitome of loveless legislation

 

you make it seem like there’s no way out

from under your control

but we can do it

I believe

the world is ours to love and dream