So I’m officially the Treasurer for the CSU (Chemistry Student Union). Yay. That NY resolution is achieved. So I can cross another one off the list. 🙂
No one was running against me, so I automatically got the position. Which is both a relief as it meant I didn’t need to be anxious about public speaking and a disappointment at the same time as it means there were fewer people running this year. There was still a fair number of people there listening to speeches and running for other positions so it means we weren’t entirely unsuccessful this year. Maybe we just chose a bad time for the elections. Hmm.
I’ve been feeling really moody lately. Agitated. Irritated over little things. Part of me believes it is due to the fact that my period is coming around soon (it should have been here today…?). Another part of me believes it’s another part of a mental disorder I may have. A third part thinks that it’s just normal. Moods change constantly – it doesn’t necessarily have to mean a thing (could just be a shift in hormones, the weather, the air). But it’s been a good three days in which I’ve been feeling like this. At least I’m not sleeping for abnormal periods of time anymore. My internal clock’s working a bit better (meaning I’m definitely not depressed).
Spring is finally here. It was raining today. Felt bittersweet. Back home, it’d be like any other day. Here, it’s a rare occurrence and one that I Don’t particularly mind. It’s relaxing. Listening to the sound of the rain against the bus windows. Against the pavement. Against the roof above your head. Which is probably why I’m writing this entry (it’s not raining anymore, but the rain does get me into a writing mood).
On a different note, one I haven’t touched on in a while…I finished reading Liar Game. It was, for the longest time, my favourite manga of all time. It touched my psyche and intellectual interest in a way that no other manga ever had. I say, it was, because the ending left me quite unsatisfied. I was necessarily unsatisfied with how it ended, but rather how rushed it was. It got me thinking, “I waited 5 years for the manga to finish, for this?” The last arc was disappointing and lacked the same amount of finesse that Kaitani Shinobu-sensei brought to the other arcs. I understand that sometimes series are rushed to a finish (due to loss of fan base or pressure from the publishing company), but there was so much potential in the manga. I loved it so much that I guess I would’ve been unhappy with anything less than perfect – it was an okay end. Not the worst possible way to end it, but it wasn’t done well. Ugh. Thinking of all the series I abandoned five years ago and that are completed now and are waiting for me to finish, I’m feeling anxious. I don’t want to be disappointed again. I think the main one I’m concerned about is Dengeki Daisy. Another manga that blew me away six years ago. I need to finish it.
To be perfectly honest, my compulsion towards wasting away my time on the computer doesn’t seem very healthy. I spend a ridiculous amount of time playing video games, reading manga, and now I’ve proceeded to an increased interest in watching TV shows (House, Survivor, Masterchef). I think I need to let go of everything for a while. Not necessarily right at this moment, but I think I need to pick a week for which I don’t touch any of these things. Live outside the computer screen for a while. I think I’ll start when my exams begin. See how it goes. Lessen my addictive nature because I know I am biologically prone to addictions (especially gaming ones).
I was all over the place with this entry.
But it feels right to me.
It feels like me.
Jumbled, erratic, contemplating, reflective.
I should get going.