Saying “Goodbye”.

“You’ve changed.”

Hint of anger in his voice. Fists clenched. His eyes won’t meet mine.

 

“Yes.”

I reply. Calm. I take a deep breath, keeping the tears swelling in my eyes at bay. I’ll cry later when he’s not around. Crying now will only weaken my resolve.

 

“And I haven’t, have I?”

His eyebrows furrow in frustration. He steps closer. I move back. I need the distance.

 

“No.”

I grasp my left wrist with my right hand. Need. To. Stop. Shaking.

 

“Every time, something goes wrong in your life, I’m there for you. I’m dependable.

I know everything about you.

Every little secret.

And I make things better. I make you happy.

You can’t leave me now.

You need me.”

 

He lifts his head so that his eyes meet mine. His gaze is piercing. I shiver. But I do not fold. I retaliate.

“I needed you. Not anymore. Never again.”

 

He grimaces but quickly recovers. His expression softens. The corner of his lips curve into a smile.

“You’ll come back to me soon enough. You always do. Enjoy your little alone time.”

 

He laughs.

In the past, that would’ve been enough to crack me.

Now, I am unfazed.

 

“Goodbye.”

I turn and walk away without a second glance. His laughing stops.

 

“Wait!”

I don’t. My arms stop shaking. My entire body relaxes.

 

Psychologically and physically,

I am free.

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A Girl Behind Bars

I pound on the walls

quickly

feverishly

until I lose all feeling in my fists.

 

The warden looks my way

seeming to understand my pain

but pays no heed to a word I say.

 

I scream

shouting out obscenities

to an audience of none

as if the struggle meant anything

to anyone.

 

This prison cell is flooded

with desperation and despair

but I refuse to add mine to it

I refuse to lose control.

 

Years ago

I thought I had a chance

but the bars only grew thicker

thicker and thicker

until I scarcely see through the slits.

 

I trusted the darkness

but never again

I thought he was an ally in my direst moment of need

but instead he craved my insanity

he craved me dead

rotting and hollow.

 

I shall never trust again.

 

A women comes from time to time

and stares at me so crudely

all finely dressed with silken hair

and eyes filled with cruelty

I shout at her

I ask for freedom

but she never gives reply.

 

She laughed once

as I was trying to dig my way out

my fingers crusted in dirt and grime

as I clawed the hard earth floor

I looked up to see her smiling

laughing at my despair

and since then I’ve never said a word

to that wretch beyond the bars.

 

There is a boy in the next cell over

and sometimes we talk

we talk about how we used to live

how we used to love

but not anymore.

 

He makes me feel all warm inside

reminds me of a better time

and gives me hope

of someday

when I am no longer bound.

 

The warden is coming over now

perhaps to put an end to this miserable life

he is speaking quickly

I cannot understand his words

she

is

coming

is the only phrase I catch.

 

I realize then

that even he is powerless

to that cruel demon of a women

apparently she was my captor

but I don’t remember much

all I know is that I was once free

and that is all I hope to be once more.

 

The warden says

that she isn’t all bad

that she is much like me

before the darkness fed her lies.

 

He continues

he tells me that

I am the part of her

that she cast away

when the darkness

would not leave her alone.

 

I ask him why she laughs at me

and he shakes his head

and turns away

but I can see

the tears

falling from his face.

 

I hear a gentle knock from the side

and I turn and face the barren wall

that separates me from the boy

on the other side.

 

He says something so quiet

it almost slips by

she laughs because we once ruled her heart

I lock the phrase into my mind

eyes wide

surprised.

 

I remember now

the memories flowing back

hurricane-fast

I remember I remember

that what he says is true

I am love and he is hope

and we were once the mighty two

that conquered dark

and swept past pain

we were once a force arcane.

 

But in this cell

I am nothing

I am worthless by my plight

I fall to my knees

my arms to my side

as I cry softly into the night.

Fear

I had three minutes left to complete the level. Three. Whole. Minutes. But I couldn’t do it. It wasn’t that it was a particularly difficult level. I’ve done similar puzzles before. All it takes is a systematic process.  A little bit of thinking, a little of doing. Think, do; think do. But I let the timer go down without taking a single move. I was afraid.

Of failure?

Oh no, not of failure. There was no way I would’ve gotten it wrong if I tried. At least I don’t think so. I’m generally the only one among the group who’s good at things like this and everyone trusted me to get it done. I had never let them down before. I don’t think this level would’ve been any different.

So why did you? Let them down, that is.

They were yelling. I was afraid. No, not afraid of disappointing them if that’s the reason you’re giving me the look. Like I told you, I had never let them down before and I knew I had the intelligence to complete the puzzle. I wasn’t even feeling pressured.

What then? What were you afraid of?

Closure. Ending. Victory, I guess, in a sense. Something in my gut told me that that was really the last level; the system would tell us again and again that it was the last level, but it was always a lie. The others were growing weary, tired of doing the levels, skeptical that they were ever going to escape. But not L and I. We kept going. He did the physical trials while I did the mental ones. We were the perfect duo.

So you were afraid of losing L? Is that why closure scares you?

Oh no. We would be friends even when it was all over. He wouldn’t betray me. Not like the others. I could sense it in their eyes – the bitterness, the hate. They didn’t want me around anymore. But within the game, they couldn’t get rid of me. They needed me.

Why the hate?

They knew what I really was. Who I really am.

And who is that? Wait, where are you goi-

I am who I am.

The Copper Hill

We were strangers once more with our arms lounging against the crisp horizon, our feet weightless on the rusted metal plates that refused the existence of the force called gravity. I brushed my front strands of hair away from my eyes and gazed over at the figure sitting less than an arm’s reach away.

The man I know lives in that body, exists in that shell, but he is not the man I know. A tear flickered on the edge of my eye as I realized that the man I would give my dreams up for no longer walked this world.

I walked over to him, my hands shaking from an emotion quite unknown to me. My legs quivering with each step – although that very well may have been attributed to the strange metal beneath my feet.

He looked up, but said nothing. His face was blank and implied nothing. Even his limbs remained stagnant, filled with the nothingness that now consumed him.

An urge arose from inside the very roots of my soul and implanted itself into my nervous system. I grabbed his unmoving head and kissed his plated skin. My eyes drowning in the expression of his incandescent glowing eyes.

My hands found security as I placed them upon his bare cold back. My legs found their long lost home wrapped around his slender waist. I kissed him again, firmly on the lips, letting the Passion burning inside my skin escape onto his.

He closed his eyes and I, mine. His body made no attempt to escape my clinging hold. I stopped kissing him and let my head rest upon his broad shoulders that eminated off rays of shimmering gold.

I laughed. Loudly and filled with all the hysteria of a madwoman.

And then I cried. Tears that filled with agony and relief, achievement and grief.

The tears ran down his back. Some slipped beneath his intricately plates skin. And continued down. To his power core.

Lifeless once again. The man I loved. Atop the peak of the copper hill.

Saying “I love you”.

Writing prompt: Saying “I love you” without actually saying the three words.

—–

“There’s a kitten following you,” he pointed at the creature tailing behind me.

“I know,” I replied, smiling my most pleasant smile.

The kitten walked over to him and jumped onto his lap. Upon instinct, he ran his fingers through her fur.

“Another one? You promised you’d stop taking in strays,” he frowned, but continued to pet her.

“I know, but this one understands me. She knows exactly how I’m feeling. She’s like that part of me I’ve always searched for and always wished to have known more about. I don’t know how else to explain it. Look at her.”

He takes a long hard look at the kitten and shakes his head. He nudged her, urging her off of him. He was stuck on the dark green leather sofa – unable to stand up. He nudged again. The cat didn’t budge.

“She’s not letting me get up,” he said, realizing that the cat’s claws were digging in at his clothes.

“I know,” I replied, staring straight into his eyes. “She’s not letting you go.”

He chuckled and extended his arms out to me. I accepted the embrace, digging my own claws in his back.

“I’m not going anywhere,” he whispered softly into my left ear.

“I know.” I murmured just as softly in the comfort of his arms.

Bicycle

Had writer’s block at my writing club today and our leader told me to use the word “bicycle” at least twice. Fun. Only had 3-5 minutes to write. Something I can develop later? Maybe.

That bicycle. That stupid, mocking, shameless piece of metallic trash. Yes. That bicycle. Just the sight of its ridiculously put together mechanism makes my blood churn. It’s not really a bicycle. No, it’s a cold-blooded, demon-spirited, heartless murderer. This bicycle took everything from me. It replaced the love of my life with a soulless piece of marble: a gravestone in our local cemetery.

I wish I had never bought that bicycle.

Untitled

Something I happened to conjure up during my five minutes of free-write at this writing club I wish will never end. I might develop this or I might not. Haven’t written fantasy in a long time – I kind of miss it.

She bit her lip, tasting the bitter ardour from her own blood. A beast stood before her, digging his filthy claws into the cold,  fresh dirt. His tangerine eyes chilled her entire body. She stared back, mustering up her most ferocious look possible, her own eyes glowing brighter than humanly possible in the moonlight.

Run, her brain told her, sending compulsions through her every nerve. She would not run. She couldn’t. She knew the beast, knew how to tame it – if only she had her powers back. Oh how she missed her powers. If she ever saw that worthless thief appear before her again, she would rip his body limb from limb and drown herself in his blood. There’s nothing sweeter than revenge.

The beast howled mournfully towards the sky, the sound deflecting in every direction. Then it came, lunging towards her vitality as if she were some kind of languid songbird. The ends of her lips curved up, a malevolent smile that would cripple even Angels resonated on her face. She let out a little chuckle and prepared herself for the engagement.