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Got a long day ahead of me tomorrow, but rather than thinking about it, I’d like to do a little reflecting.

Reading week went by so fast. Spent a lot of it playing league, sleeping, eating, and generally ignoring the whole ‘reading’ bit.

Went to the ROM with Alina last Tuesday. It felt really good to get lost in history, art, and really cool objects. I *love* dinosaurs. It’s fascinating to think about what the earth would be like if they never went extinct. Of course, we probably wouldn’t be around if so, but still. Dinosaurs. ❤

Well at least that’s one destination off my list. 🙂

Kind of wish I had done more studying during the break, but I also understand myself enough to know that it’s almost impossible to find myself doing work when I don’t have to be doing work.

Bad habit. Working on it. Kind of.

If I do badly on tomorrow’s assignment, I’ve got no one to blame but myself. Meh. I can live with that.

Found myself constantly refreshing the information page for the internship I really want for this summer. Got worried they weren’t going to be having any this year when I checked the interviewing period for last year. Sent an email to the person in charge and luckily, they responded with an indication that it will be happening this year. I know it’s bad practice to be placing all my bets on this one opportunity, but I really didn’t want to be doing research this summer. Worse comes to worse, I’ll go home for two months and take studying for my MCAT retake seriously.

Starting watching anime again recently – though I’ve been trying hard to stay away from ongoing series (they really take a toll on me via the constant anticipation and checking for new episodes). Did start watching Erased (boku dake ga inai machi). Liking it so far. Really hoping for the happy ending for the protagonist – he really deserves one. Will write my thoughts on the anime when it completes (only 5 more episodes according to the wiki).

Recently finished Gate (meh, too happy) and Mirai Nikki (main protagonist too cringefully stupid) and working on Another (scary, but interesting).

Also picked up Shingeki no Kyoujin (the manga) and The Gamer (the web series, tons of fun to read). The Attack on Titan plotline is so complicated that sometimes I get confused, but reading people’s theories on it have got me thinking and really wanting to read more. Apparently the author had decided to change his ending (which apparently was all the humans dying or something to that effect) since it was too depressing and unsatisfying to the readers. Will be interesting to see what he has decided to do in place of that.

I feel my inner otaku emerging after months of not really paying it much attention (and indulging in korean dramas in its place). Sometimes I feel like I should get some hobbies that don’t involve in lying in bed in front of a computer screen. Other times I feel like I should just be me.

Maybe I should find a balance. But that’s never easy. Will try anyway.

Oh. One more thing.

>Insert reminder here to write about some of the games I’ve really enjoyed over the past year.

Will probably do it after I finish Danganronpa so I can lump all my gaming reflections together.

Nothing makes me happier than finishing a really satisfying video game and I’d really like to get some of those thoughts down so I can look back on it years later as a good dose of happy nostalgia.

10 – Recommend me some blogs! :)

As the title says, I’m looking for more blogs to look at and read. Sure, I love writing, but there’s something about reading that I love just as much. I’m also an avid fan of art, photography, anime&manga, gaming, and anything cute. I love poetry (in case you haven’t noticed).

I may be doing as a way to relieve my own self-conceitedness, but I honestly do enjoy looking at other blogs. I love commenting oh so much. It may seem a little shallow to just be openly asking for something to read instead of taking the time to do it myself, but I value the opinions of other bloggers. I really do.

Oh my. I’m just making myself sound worse…

So give me some blogs to read! I find quite a lot on my own, but I want more. 🙂

They can be from anywhere, but preferably from either WordPress, Blogspot, or Tumblr.

Like this post if you want me to look at yours.

Comment below if there’s someone you want me to check out.

If I’m already following you, I’ll make sure to read even more from you.

As always, if you follow me, i’ll follow back. (:

6 – Addictions vs. Obsessions

Addiction
noun
the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, as narcotics, to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma. (dictionary.com)

vs.

Obsession
noun
the domination of one’s thoughts or feelings by a persistent idea, image, desire, etc.

———–

So. How the hell do I know if I’m addicted or just obsessed?

There’s a thin line between addiction and obsession and sometimes I question if I’m really just obsessed over something or if I’m actually addicted. To be an addiction its “cessation causes severe trauma”. How severe does the trauma have to be?

I have been sheltered from tobacco and narcotics my entire life and happy for that. I do not need a physical addiction in addition to whatever mental addictions I may have. Though honestly, it’s taking things too far to say I’m addicted to anything. I feel for people who do have addictions, but I honestly don’t see myself suffering a form of severe trauma if I stop doing something I like.

I suppose the closest thing I have to an addiction is my obsession over the Internet. I feel withdrawal symptoms after days without contact with the online world. At the same time, there are too many other factors that affect this obsession. Being online means I can stay connected with friends better. Being online means accessing my other obsessions. I can easily go on vacation for a month and not worry about the online world. The thing is, the internet is such a powerful medium to communicate with. The only fear I have when leaving it for an extended period of time is that an email or message will be sent to me and it could contain something important. Other than that, I have no problem with stopping internet usage for some time. I rely on it too much to stop it permanently.

Anime/manga. Video games. Poetry. Reading. These are things that I have obsessed over or still do obsess over. They come and go. I can go for months and perhaps even a year without them. I have not suffered any serious symptoms of withdrawal when any one of these activities have stopped in the past. I don’t suppose I will ever experience them.

My heart lurches though.

All the time.

When I lose touch with something I’m obsessed with, I yearn for it. I look for it.

A new video game or MMORPG.

A new book.

Or writing a new poem.

It’s annoying that I do that. It’s annoying that I can’t let go of my obsessions quite so easily.

It doesn’t mean they’re addictions…

——

While I’m on the topic of obsessions, I might as well bring up another problem that I have. Quite possibly an addiction too.

When I get into something – like really into something – I can stay glued to that one activity for hours. Hours with no interruption. No interruption of focus (except perhaps occasionally for food). It can last over twelve hours sometimes. It’s scary that I don’t see the time slip away before me.

This happens with games, with books, with online conversations, with projects, with puzzles, with art, and sometimes even with television.

I can’t explain it.

I’m usually distracted and I like to shift focus a lot.

When I go into one of those “trances”, I lose awareness of all else.

It’s freaking scary coming out of one.

I hate them.

—tumblr: on the edge.

[ANIME] Voices of a Distant Star

Alternative name(s): Hoshi no Koe
Type: Ova
Episodes: 1
Director: Shinkai Makoto
Genres: Sci-Fi, Mecha, Drama, Romance.

[MAL Link]

The Official Cover of the Anime

Plot (10/10)

Hoshi no Koe features a unique plot guaranteed to leave you in tears or close to it. It features a set of lovers separated by time and space. At first glance, it appears to be no more than cheesy love flick, but upon watching it, you are left in an atmosphere of utter awe. I won’t explain the plot here as that would ruin it for anyone who has yet to watch it, but I will tell you that if the plot were written in a novel form, it would definitely still have the same effect, provided that the author was as skillful with words as Shinkai Makoto is with animation.

Makoto-san is definitely one of my favourite animation directors as he is also the creator of 5 Centimeters per Second, ef, and The Place Promised in Our Early Days which all have plots worth watching. He is also the voice actor for the male character in this animation which seems to me as an indication that he has written in his own personal feelings and perspectives into the short, but moving movie.

Animation (9/10)

Shinkai Makoto animates and produces this film by himself. He has individually brought alive a work of masterpiece that touches people’s hearts. The colours and contrast meld perfectly to illuminate sci-fi kind of beauty in his work. Every scene is a perfect anime wallpaper and every landscape is worthy of being a work of art on its own. Perhaps I’m not the right person to be judging art, but I definitely don’t think that the graphic quality in this work can be ignored. The amount of colouring done on every frame is astonishing. The use of light colours on a dark background definitely swells up certain feelings such as hope or desperation into the viewer. The animation and detailed colouring set the tragic, yet stunning mood of the entire work.

Enjoyment (10/10)

I have never enjoyed a twenty-five minute work as much as this one. Yes, it’s only twenty five minutes, but it’s worth every second of my time. Honestly, by the end of the OVA, you’ll feel like it’s been hours since you started watching. He wastes not a single moment in the twenty-five minutes, bringing out a different point in every part of the movie. Typically in most movies, there will be parts where pauses or relief is evident. There is no such thing in this work. It makes perfect use of its length. Do I wish it was longer? Do I yearn for a sequel? No, the ending was perfect.

I have drawn elements from this work into my writing and particularly into my novel. Although anime and writing seem to be separated by boundaries of art,  I believe that great animes should work as novels and great novels as animes. Plots are essential in both. Hoshi no Koe will not leave you disappointed with is plot.

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3 – 1000 all-time views so…

Thank you to everyone who has given my blog a look. I love reading comments – good or bad – so please continue to give me feedback if you have something to say. I can’t improve without feedback so I’m happy that people are taking a look at my insignificant little blog.

1000 views! Eeek! I just feel so happy that my blog is interesting enough for people to be reading it. As a celebration of meeting this milestone, I’ll start doing anime, manga, and game reviews starting from today. That section will open up soon enough and I’ll soon be flooding my blog with them. As a side note, I’m not turning this into an otaku blog. Heavens no, that would be horrid. I’ll only be reviewing anime and manga that are worth reading or are so bad and clichéd to the point where I don’t want you to read them. I like to recommend anime and manga that have plots appealing to any audience. As for game reviews, I will be doing the same there. Only games worth playing or are so horrible they aren’t worth playing will be reviewed by myself. If you want me to read, watch, or play something, please recommend me things in that section.

In addition to starting that section,  I’ll post a poem up later today to get my creative juices up and running.

My next goals: 5000 views and 50 followers. Things to look forward to if I do meet these two new goals:

5000 views – I’ll start posting up chapters of my novel I wrote for NaNoWriMo this year. Heh, I’m not expecting to reach this goal any time soon so that’ll give me plenty of time to start editing and finishing off the novel. It goes by the same name as the blog (Stronghold).

50 followers – I’ll start regularly drawing and filling up the Art section of my blog. This could possibly include making AMVs…short films?…and music.

Thank you again to everyone who’s supported me and helped me reach those goals. I’ll be counting on you guys to help me reach next my next goals in the next year or so.

I’ll follow anyone who follows me so if you’re in need of followers, just click that button or simply write a comment on my blog somewhere. If I like your comment, I’ll definitely go and check out your blog. Tumblr links are always welcome. ❤

 

 

 

—tumblr: a slideshow of anime goodies to get you all excited for my reviews…

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1 – Life so far

First non-poetry blog in a while. It doesn’t mean I’m going to stop writing poetry, but I feel like I need to articulate my thoughts in some other medium for a while.

Starting with this blog, I will be numbering my reality blogs. What is a reality blog? Just some thoughts and tidbits I get from light. Some ideas, some events, some interesting thoughts – anything that I need to think twice about really.

Included in each of these blogs will be a picture I liked from Tumblr. (Yes, this is a desperate attempt for me to connect WordPress to Tumblr). I genuinely believe in a no reblog policy for wordpress while on tumblr that’s basically all I do. Pictures for tumblr and words for wordpress. Makes sense. To me anyway. The link to my tumblr is on the side…if you’re wondering.

Life so far.

It’s been a rough road and I’ve heard it only gets harder.

From birth, I’m taught to treat others with kindness. From school, I’ve learned that things don’t always work out that way.

I’ve heard about tragedies, about problematic situations that exist all across the world. I’ve experienced problems in my own life,  but never had a big piece of the so called “tragic” pie. Poverty, famine, prisoners of war…the things that put life in retrospect.

Sometimes I think I don’t appreciate life enough. Other times, I live in fear of tomorrow.

I’ve had my share of bullying, peer pressure, and broken friendships. I’ll continue to have more. Don’t think too much about it as everything passes by eventually.

I’ve heard stories of love. I’ve thought that I was in love at one point. It’s hard to say what love is. Poetry is one method of trying to pinpoint abstract ideas like love.

The future’s bright. I can see myself in a million different places. A writer, an artist, a marketer, a doctor, a lawyer, a professor…what is it that I really want to become? I’ll find out soon enough.

Life is short. Don’t let small things get to you. Believe in yourself. I’ve learned these things the hard way. I’ll continue to make mistakes and I’ll accept criticism happily. Don’t stop just because someone’s in your way. Push forward.

I let emotions overwhelm me. I cry spontaneously. It’s okay.

And that’s life so far.

 

 

—tumblr: don’t let go of the red balloon.

Procrastinating so…

As the title indicates, I’m procrastinating.

Current Obsession: KAITO. ❤

Yeah, first thing to know about me:  I have OCD. In a way you wouldn’t imagine. I obsess, I compel, and I definitely have a disorder (obsessive collecting disorder, but I’ll explain that some other time.)

SOMETHING TO GET MY WRITING JUICES RUNNING.

Somehow “juices” just sounds so ucky…So I guess WRITING SPARKLERS*? Meh. I’ll think of a better word later.

He lay there, beside the grave of a girl he knew nothing about.

She had watched him from afar. When he glanced back at her, her bright brown eyes lit up in eagerness, in anticipation of something more. She would occasionally brush by him in the hallways on purpose, waiting for an opportunity to get closer. She never got one.

He had noticed her, but always kept quiet. He kept thinking that she would give up sooner or later so he had subtly ignored her. Resting his head upon her gravestone, he felt a shiver run down his spine. It wasn’t from the cold stone rubble that made up the grave. It wasn’t from his hallucination that her ghost was actually there beside her. No, this was something different.

This shiver came from deep within the crevasses of his heart; from a recurring ache that wouldn’t leave him. He felt it again. He ran his fingers over the words engraved on the gravestone, pausing over each letter. He knew what he was feeling, but no force would make him admit it. He stood up, brushing the leaves away from his jacket and worn-down jeans. After taking a final look at the gravestone, he made his way out of the cemetery. The sympathetic crunching of leaves as he departed gave him a hollow feeling.

The feeling he knew so well overwhelmed his conscience. From outside the cemetery, he looked back to where her gravestone was with a grim smile. He didn’t pity her – that he knew with certainty.

“Hey God,” He shouted towards the sky. “How could you let her love someone who doesn’t love her back?”

He ran as fast as he could away from the cemetery, away from the cathedral, and away from her. With clammy hands he opened the door to his house and closed the door with a loud slam. He was scared. He was Catholic. And he had just lied to God.

Mangas

What are they and why would anyone read them?

They’re comics. Simply put, of course.

I’m not here to explain what they are though. Nor am I here to elaborate on the population of otakus in the world.

I will, however, relate my thoughts.

Naruto - Shounen

Shounen manga. Fighting. That’s what you would expect in the typical shounen manga. A lot of conflict, whether it is physical or mental it doesn’t matter for it’s conflict either way.

Idiocy. Ignore my obvious bias there. I don’t indulge in the shounen genre at all. Perhaps because it’s geared towards young males hence the fact that shounen means ‘boy’ in Japanese.

Naruto is a pretty good example of the shounen genre. I’ve watched part of the anime myself…but I’m not here to talk about anime. No clue who or what Naruto is? Google it. I’ve wasted enough words elaborating on the likes of this genre.

Simply put, I am not a fan.

Never will be.

Constructive opinions are usually preferred. WHY do I resent the shounen genre? When have I ever said I resented it? Don’t assume. I like the shounen genre a lot. Just not in manga form. Watch the animes. Maybe I just don’t have the mindset to imagine all the action that occurs in shounen mangas. I need it animated for it to be real. Or real-ish.

Full Moon Wo Sagashite - Shoujo

Shoujo. A genre I used to obsess over. A part of me deep inside probably still does. Shoujo is “girl” in Japanese. So obviously shoujo is targeted at the female population. There’s nothing wrong with guys reading it – just as there’s nothing wrong with girls reading shounen. It’s a matter of taste. That’s all.

I’d love to keep to my biased little self and promote the shoujo genre in contrast to my calling shounen “idiocy.” I’d have to say shoujo isn’t much better than shounen. In retrospect, only some mangas are genuinely good and not clichéd and unintelligent. An original and touching manga doesn’t appear often in either shounen or shoujo. There’s way too little originality. I’d even go as far as to say that you’ll find more originality in shounen. At least the plot differs (though the personality types and conflicting situations are often repeated.)

Sigh. Where is the good manga? I’m not saying that you shouldn’t read shoujo or shounen. They’re both extremely popular genres with good mangas – if you know how to find them. It’s just that they can get tiring after you read quite a bit of them. You begin to notice trends. Notice clichés. Realize that the genre wasn’t what you thought it would be. No genre is.

Etowa -Yaoi

The last genre I’ll cover today is yaoi. There are dozens of other genres I could’ve covered, but I choose this one.

Yaoi is love between two guys. If you dislike homosexuality (which you should still tolerate because there is nothing wrong with being gay), then get out. Run away from this genre.

This genre is where I’ve read some of the best mangas ever. I’m not saying I haven’t read extraordinary mangas in other genres (which I have and quite a lot actually), but yaoi just captivates me. It doesn’t happen often in reality. It’s not accepted by many, the concept of homosexuality I mean,  and yet many read it in graphic form.

It’s strange really.

I love yaoi. It doesn’t have the weak female protagonist who is saved by a perfect male bishie (a ‘hawt’ guy) that shoujo has. Yaoi is shoujo without the idiocy. That’s what I think anyway. Simply take the uke and place a girl in his place. Perfection. Yaoi is for those who are tired of weak female protagonists. I was.

Okay. I suppose I’ll stop promoting yaoi. It’s amazing, but not to the point where I have to glorify it. Sometimes it really isn’t all that good at all. It depends on what and who you read. That’s the same with all genres. You got to pick the good from the bad.

My thoughts have been spoken.

I suppose no one really cares though.

I’m just here to rant to nobody at all.

I love shoujo, shounen, and yaoi. I’d read any of them. I’m simply warning future readers that you may find some mangas to be repetitive. To simply repeat the same typical storyline. It’s good to watch out for the good ones. Shounen usually has fresh ideas. It’s just not my thing to have so much action and so little romance. I like a mix of both. Yeah I know, I’m talking like ‘such a girl’. Well this sexist thing has really got to end too.

I like to contradict myself.

Call me crazy.

I don’t really care. 🙂