A friend beyond the darkness.

Bitter times come flooding in,

Our hopes and dreams are growing thin,

Amongst the clouded skies and murky lies,

We find ourselves surrounded.

 

But even as doubt splatters like crimson paint

On the pavement of your dreams,

Do not despair.

Even as guilt engulfs you in its suffocating hold,

Do not give in.

Even as you struggle to fight off the demons lurking in every crevice,

Do not forget what hope feels like.

 

Tonight,

Look to the stars,

Find a calm that triumphs darkness,

Let it warm you and dry your tears,

Rinse away your greatest fears,

End this fruitless escapade,

Tear apart the barricade,

A special magic turns the tide,

Bringing life back to our side,

For even in the darkest times,

We’ll find a way to change our lives.

Dark Resonance

Scarlet lens
I feel the end
The war is in its passing

Hot tears stain my cheeks
But they are not mine to shed.
I have failed the one
I held most dear.

The last traces of a
Fleeting hope
Numb my aching limbs
The sound of her heart breaking
Is a blizzard
Upon my consciousness
And I
I shouldn’t have made a promise
I knew I couldn’t keep.

Close my eyes
And let darkness bleed
For only in these dreams
Will she forgive me.

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Stifled

an inescapable numbness

building upon my heart

devouring me from the inside

and tearing me apart

feeling choked

a little short of breath

and instead of light and laughter

all I feel is death

 

the death of my future

slowly slipping away

the death of my self esteem

I tossed out yesterday

and the wretched hold of emptiness

rising from the grave

 

my armor’s torn

my glaive worn

and beneath the layers of heavy rust

my resolve lies crumbled in the dust

 

you can’t escape

you can’t escape

the demons whisper in my ear

as they crawl past my defenses

and colour me in fear.

A Glass Cage

exasperated by our fruitless interactions

no longer can I speak

when the words are cutting deep

onto wounds that haven’t healed

from our past defeats.

 

I’m finding it hard to believe

that we can make the change

we promised we would

but you know

some things

just stay the same.

 

I reach out

but my fingers just can’t reach

guess this is what they mean

by so close but yet so far.

 

I feel taunted, tricked, deceived

for I can see the brighter future

that lies beyond this glassed cage

but my punches and my kicks only seem to ricochet.

 

I press my forehead against the cold surface

rest my fists and close my eyes

my arms and legs are shaking

I’m a little terrified.

 

We’ve looked in every nook and cranny

searching for our mistakes

trying to find reason why

we’re cracking along the edges

but now I think I realize

that you can’t make fire from ashes

you can’t fix what never was.

 

my knees cave in and I fall to the ground

drained and hopeless

lost and alone

suffocated

and drowned.

 

the tears falling from my face

burn upon my blistered palm

all the pain I had supressed

as I fought against the tide

flood down upon my heavy heart

and slowly tears me apart

from the inside.

 

but I think I have

just enough

for one last and final try

so please

save me from this misery

before my love begins to rot

let us push against this wretched glass

with everything we’ve got.

We’ll find a way together.

in the darkness

you will find

the answers that

I’ve left behind

for I believe

that our beliefs

don’t have to last forever.

 

life can hurt

but that’s okay

for we will always

find a way

to make things better

than yesterday

we’ll find a way to love and laugh

we’ll find a way together.

 

you look at me in disbelief

but grasp my hands in sweet relief

not knowing makes your mind go mad

but you’ve found strength you’ve never had

our eyes once tuned to darkness are now clouded no more

and so we venture off into a world we’ve never seen before.

Trigger

A small drop of resentmemt
Rippled through a lake of tranquility
Amplified to every corner
Leaving no trace untouched

And with it came shadows
Resurrecting ghosts from the past
Tearing down the stronghold
Every fragment bigger than the last

Every effort to contain it
Consumed in its dark blaze
Every hope conquered
Depression is a blade

Purification is a slow process
And takes courage to employ
Sometimes it can’t recover
The pieces once destroyed

Obliteration of the soul
Emotions take their toll
And I feel my dreams shaking
Slowly, slowly breaking.

73

I’m okay… I’m okay. I’m okay I’m okay I’m okay.

not my favourite mantra

but I say it over and over

hoping, wishing

but knowing that I am not

‘okay’

 

I seem to have fallen again

it’s not the same place as before

but sure feels like it

and I can’t breathe

when the whole world

is crashing on me

 

I want to be alone

but I need to be

in his arms

to not feel so afraid

to feel loved

when all I hear

are screams

 

I need silence

because every word

is poison

every sigh

is another thorn

piercing through my heart

and I can’t seem

to find an exit

 

I thought that I had beaten it

but I guess I was wrong

even fire-breathing eloquence

can’t take something this strong

 

I’m standing still now

afraid to make a move

the darkness inching closer

with every breath I take

but still my legs have lost their fight

and I’m crying through the night

 

I’m not looking for a saviour

not looking for escape

all I want right now

is a little bit of strength

just a little bit of  “I can do this”

just a little bit of  “It’s not so bad”

’cause just a little bit of courage

is more than I’ve ever had

 

I slice through the darkness

with a bleeding shard of love

but I’ve fallen way too deep

to ever get above

but maybe

just maybe

if instead of looking up

I can dig deeper

find haven within myself