it all feels like ashes

these days have been feeling like disaster

with every moment that passes

I feel something shattering

I thought I was so sure of

who I loved

what I loved

and where on the horizon my dreams laid

but nothing feels like it’s in the right place

a transition from certainty to the unknown

is truly perplexing.

 

there is an inescapable gray

bleeding into my heart

but I can’t stop its rushing current

all I can do is lie here frozen

screaming for the colours

to come back.

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A friend beyond the darkness.

Bitter times come flooding in,

Our hopes and dreams are growing thin,

Amongst the clouded skies and murky lies,

We find ourselves surrounded.

 

But even as doubt splatters like crimson paint

On the pavement of your dreams,

Do not despair.

Even as guilt engulfs you in its suffocating hold,

Do not give in.

Even as you struggle to fight off the demons lurking in every crevice,

Do not forget what hope feels like.

 

Tonight,

Look to the stars,

Find a calm that triumphs darkness,

Let it warm you and dry your tears,

Rinse away your greatest fears,

End this fruitless escapade,

Tear apart the barricade,

A special magic turns the tide,

Bringing life back to our side,

For even in the darkest times,

We’ll find a way to change our lives.

Dark Resonance

Scarlet lens
I feel the end
The war is in its passing

Hot tears stain my cheeks
But they are not mine to shed.
I have failed the one
I held most dear.

The last traces of a
Fleeting hope
Numb my aching limbs
The sound of her heart breaking
Is a blizzard
Upon my consciousness
And I
I shouldn’t have made a promise
I knew I couldn’t keep.

Close my eyes
And let darkness bleed
For only in these dreams
Will she forgive me.

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Stifled

an inescapable numbness

building upon my heart

devouring me from the inside

and tearing me apart

feeling choked

a little short of breath

and instead of light and laughter

all I feel is death

 

the death of my future

slowly slipping away

the death of my self esteem

I tossed out yesterday

and the wretched hold of emptiness

rising from the grave

 

my armor’s torn

my glaive worn

and beneath the layers of heavy rust

my resolve lies crumbled in the dust

 

you can’t escape

you can’t escape

the demons whisper in my ear

as they crawl past my defenses

and colour me in fear.

A Glass Cage

exasperated by our fruitless interactions

no longer can I speak

when the words are cutting deep

onto wounds that haven’t healed

from our past defeats.

 

I’m finding it hard to believe

that we can make the change

we promised we would

but you know

some things

just stay the same.

 

I reach out

but my fingers just can’t reach

guess this is what they mean

by so close but yet so far.

 

I feel taunted, tricked, deceived

for I can see the brighter future

that lies beyond this glassed cage

but my punches and my kicks only seem to ricochet.

 

I press my forehead against the cold surface

rest my fists and close my eyes

my arms and legs are shaking

I’m a little terrified.

 

We’ve looked in every nook and cranny

searching for our mistakes

trying to find reason why

we’re cracking along the edges

but now I think I realize

that you can’t make fire from ashes

you can’t fix what never was.

 

my knees cave in and I fall to the ground

drained and hopeless

lost and alone

suffocated

and drowned.

 

the tears falling from my face

burn upon my blistered palm

all the pain I had supressed

as I fought against the tide

flood down upon my heavy heart

and slowly tears me apart

from the inside.

 

but I think I have

just enough

for one last and final try

so please

save me from this misery

before my love begins to rot

let us push against this wretched glass

with everything we’ve got.

We’ll find a way together.

in the darkness

you will find

the answers that

I’ve left behind

for I believe

that our beliefs

don’t have to last forever.

 

life can hurt

but that’s okay

for we will always

find a way

to make things better

than yesterday

we’ll find a way to love and laugh

we’ll find a way together.

 

you look at me in disbelief

but grasp my hands in sweet relief

not knowing makes your mind go mad

but you’ve found strength you’ve never had

our eyes once tuned to darkness are now clouded no more

and so we venture off into a world we’ve never seen before.