until nothing remains

I built you up to be a giant

grand and gentle, fair and free

but really

you’re not so different from me

human, flawed, and fragile

tears are flooding through the cracks

and so we shatter

oh, how we shatter.

 

I pick up the pieces

and clutch them in my arms

they’re sharp and they sting

and I bleed from within

but I fear that they are all I have left

they are all I have left.

 

I’m sorry to have lived in fantasy

clueless and forlorn in melancholy

this isn’t who I was meant to be

but who I was I can no longer see.

 

drifting further on endless night

there is no comfort in this sleight

let me fade away into the dark

and leave me until I’m torn apart.

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ruins to rejuvenation

we lie crooked in stasis

beneath the unrelenting storm

our arms crossed and eyes closed

shivering as we await an ending

we question the path that has led us here

but by doubting, we show weakness

allowing fear to strike our hearts

like thunder howling through the night.

 

all we can say beyond these mistakes

is that time will still yet find a way

to heal these bleeding wounds

and just as the sun will always rise again

someday our broken spirits will begin to mend.

it all feels like ashes

these days have been feeling like disaster

with every moment that passes

I feel something shattering

I thought I was so sure of

who I loved

what I loved

and where on the horizon my dreams laid

but nothing feels like it’s in the right place

a transition from certainty to the unknown

is truly perplexing.

 

there is an inescapable gray

bleeding into my heart

but I can’t stop its rushing current

all I can do is lie here frozen

screaming for the colours

to come back.

at the boiling point

 

a plague that lingers near

a shadow without light

a cauldron filled with fear

a feral in the night

these sinister whispers

they root me to the ground

they left me in the waters

they left me here to drown.

 

 

I thought that I was stronger

I thought I could fight this war

but really you can’t know

when you haven’t done it before

I guess I learned the hard way

that just because you can

doesn’t mean you should

just because you’re not bad

doesn’t mean you’re good.

 

Convolution

For all those who wander are not lost.


For a long time

I’ve waited

to feel freedom

from beyond this fathomless trench

I spent years digging myself into.

 

But even as I walk down this golden path

I feel the tension beneath my feet

with every step

the shadows loom closer

taking delight in the consumption

of light hearts and gaiety.

 

it’s almost as if

someone has painted an ebony black

over the rainbow I had prized

as my most guarded dream

clearly

there is no such thing

as security.

 

Still I must not crumble

underneath this continuous weathering

the promise of better days

is not that far away

from beyond this blasted hurricane

I believe that clearer skies will light the way

towards a life that’s truly worth living.

Insight 

We fall apart

In our dreams

Another step

Or so it seems

I can’t define

These feelings of mine

A void beneath

No bridge to cross

All that remains

Is but a loss.

 

Sunlight bursting

Through the clouds

I question why

We’re not allowed

These limits lie there

Stretched so thin

Find the power

That comes within

Tomorrow is a promise

I won’t forget

Beyond the shadows

No regrets.