[GAME] Survival Project

This is, hands down, the hardest video game to talk about. It’s hard because of the all ties to the past it holds. It’s really difficult to reflect on.

This is a review, but in reality, it really isn’t. It’s a piece of my life.


3 Things to know about this game:

1. It really can’t be played anymore…though I think it may still be running  in Korea. Who knows.

2. It’s a computer/MMORPG game.

3. I quit this game 3 separate times. With 3 separate groups of friends.


4 elements. 8 characters (2 per element). I can’t remember all their names.

There were several modes: Dungeon, PvP, Symbol, Racing, Dodge, and Community. Did I miss something? Oh well.

I spent hours, literally hours in Community. I had a family. The third time around. A survival project family and for the longest time, that family meant more to me than my actual family. They were supportive and were there for me in ways my normal family couldn’t be. I’m sure they probably won’t recall this same level of support, but it meant a lot to me. i know for sure my ‘sis’ cried with me when it all fell apart. It all fell apart.

There was this one guy that I really liked. Before I talk about him, there’ something else I should mention. The first time I played the game, I was 7. The last time, I was 10/11. Yes, I was freaking young. How could I possibly understand anything? For the most part, I didn’t.

I remember laughing once. When my ‘brother’ was teaching a friend how to say ‘I love you’ in Japanese. Aishiteru. ‘Shit’, of course, was filtered by the censoring system in the game. I was mature enough to communicate with people much older than me.

When I was 7, I had a boyfriend in the game. He would give me free elements and spoil me with compliments. I liked him…but it was a really shadow relationship. We didn’t even talk much. Plus, I was 7. How deep of a relationship can you have with a 7 year old?

Okay, back to when I was 10. I think I knew his real name. At some point. I can’t remember it much now. I think his username was Shigamaru. I have no idea. But he meant a lot to me. Ten years old means around grade 4. I had this really tough project and all my group members weren’t doing much. I worked my butt off for it. I did. He stayed up with me in a Community Room, offering me support as for the first time, I stayed up until 3:30am for a school project. In freaking grade 4. I had to grow up faster than the average kid.

He told me that it was all grunt work and that if you got through it, you could do what you enjoyed. I smiled. I think it was because I was playing Warcraft III at the time and telling me it was ‘grunt’ work reminded me of an orc. I knew what he meant though.

Finally, I guess I’ll talk a bit about my ‘sis’. There are a lot of other people I could mention, but I think I’ve enjoyed enough reflection for now. I’ll get to them at a later time…or just leave them out altogether. Sis. Sam. Samantha. Friendshipcharm. I remember her best. I hope she never reads this post. She was two years older than me. 12 when I was 10 and 13 when I was 11. She kept our SP family together and she was definitely the one to let me in.

She protected me from things. When she could. She was conscious of my age. Yet she was only 2 years older. I learned how to be a teenager before I was even one. It’s strange. Really strange.

Our relationship kept up for over a year after we quit the game. We tried other games. Didn’t work. I would bother her for no apparent reason – didn’t last. She had things to think about as a teenager and now that I’m in her shoes, I understand. It’s hard to keep contact with someone you’ve never met and probably will never meet. I miss her. But it’s been a long time and I should let go. I think I already have. She’ll always be a part of my past.

In essence, Survival project was perfection in all video games. It had the best community and enough modes to fit everyone. Dodge was always my favourite…we would pratice our ‘moonwalk’s in order to dodge snowballs thrown at us by snowmen. You had to play it to love it – and I certainly loved it.

It was buggy at times and hackers caused it to fall. Shame on them. Ruining the best game of all time.

You lost track of time in that game. You never lost interest as there were always different things to do.

It’s funny though.

I quit so many times.

Heartbreak. Lack of friends. Or just drifting away.

If I had the chance to go back to the game, I would. I definitely would.

A lot of us would.

Sometimes it’s all about growing up. This game helped me grow up more than any other game.

Good bye, Survival Project. I’m tired of thinking about you.


[GAME] Age of Empires 1 & 2

[My first game review, but not really. Just something personal about an old game I miss.]

Age of Empires (AoE) was three things to me: Lego, chessboard, and friend.

When other friends were playing with building blocks in their free time, I was playing Age of Empires. I was six or seven-ish when i was first exposed to it. Considering that the game came out when I was two, that’s not bad. Sure, I grew up with Lego too. Sure, I played like any other kid. Still, I was different. More different than I wanted to be.

I played around with the map creator for hours. I liked putting units where I wanted them to go. I liked having control. I felt important even when I didn’t anywhere else. It was a nice feeling and I remember it well. I remember it well.

Chessboard. AoE was logic. Pure logic and strategy. One wrong attack and you were screwed. No way out of it. My favourite units? Elephants. They were so darn cute and not to mention strong. I loved the Persians. They were my second favourite race – next to the Huns of course. Oh no, I can’t forget about the Huns. I loved those horses so much to the point where I started drawing them. I can still manage a decent horse today. If you asked me to draw one.

AoE was my friend. Not that kind of regular friend whom you simply play with and have fun with. No, AoE was a friend that I grew up with. It helped me become a whole lot more mature in a short period of time.

I idolized Attila. The Hun. Yeah, I loved the guy who has been dead for over sixteen hundred years. Hah. ‘Course I didn’t know that at the time. I didn’t know much. School went by slowly. No or little homework. I spent my free time gaming. Joan of Arc became another obsession. I went through that campaign where you learn about her story and how she was burned at a stake. I shed a tear or too. She was admirable. Strong. In a game where males dominated (war), she was there. It stood out to me.

I pulled my first all-nighter playing this game. At the age of eight. That’s right. Probably the youngest kid to lose sleep over a game. I had attempted it more than once before I finally succeeded. My dad caught me and pulled me back to bed a lot. Eight…I think he had left by then. Not the kind of leave where he’s gone forever. Just the kind of leave where he’s only back in the summer. Though later the visits became more infrequent. Off-topic. Back on topic, AoE aided my growing and learning process in one way or another. Would I be the same without it? Definitely not.

Just like I wouldn’t be the same without a whole arsenal of my other games.

I had an online “boyfriend” at the age of nine. I learned about manipulation.

That’s a story for another time.


The game’s still alive.

Age of Empires III. If you’re interested, click here.

Couldn’t find any old pictures of I, but the concept’s the same. Here’s one from II. 

EDIT: Here’s a picture from I.