36 – To Feel Without Thought

In my day-to-day life, I spend every idle moment thinking about what’s happening around me. The relationships that I’ve formed and need to maintain, the lessons I ‘ve learned and have yet to take, the goals in the future and those lost in the past, and the happiness I’ve found and have yet to touch upon.

It’s this consistent thinking that drives me again and again towards a void. Towards a place of sadness, of grief, of overflowing stress. It’s this overthinking that prevents me from the simpler things in life. It’s this overthinking that keeps me up at night.

Once in a while, however, I find a little peace in my heart. I stop thinking. I feel the world.

Sometimes it’s when I’m lying on my bed. My stuffed animals in my grasp. The still air and darkness as my cover. I feel the warmth, the security, the comfort that cause my thoughts to dissipate in that moment. Serenity at its finest.

Sometimes it’s when I’m out on a walk. The sun is shining bright – the symbol of a new day. Butterflies flutter about. The birds sing a song. The cherry blossoms in full bloom. The ground beneath my feet. I feel nature and that in itself brings me to contentment.

Sometimes it’s at night when I’m atop our home’s meager balcony. The stars glimmer in the distance and the moon sheds its light upon the steps. I make a wish on the first star I see and everything feels right. I hum a song into the darkness and I forget just for those few minutes, the problems lingering in my mind.

It’s summer. My favourite season. It’d be a shame to let it go to waste without moments like these.

For my last birthday, I received a mug with a very significant quotation upon it. It has never really left my heart:

“Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the number of moments that take your breath away.”

It’s time to set ourselves free to the world. Too many times do we just spend our time worrying about where we are, where we can go, what we’ve done, what we should do. Too many times we forget about now.

Let’s feel the world again.