walls of gray

broken down by my inadequacy

I don’t know how to face it anymore

they say nothing

but I feel it by exclusion

I no longer pretend to feel welcome

beyond those doors

though I struggle to accept

this hollow state of mind.


I keep on pushing through

just a few more months

one week at a time

but it’s really all too much

even my best efforts

to numb these currents down

are fruitless

I lie shattered

broken and weathered

unable to pick myself up

unable to hold on

to that sliver of hope

and so I find myself engulfed

entranced in inhibition

privy to these crushing thoughts.


I cannot see the horizon

beyond these walls of gray.


4 thoughts on “walls of gray

    • Thank you Darwin.
      It really means a lot that you took the time to read this and to comment – just so I could feel a little stronger.
      I’m going to get through this – I know that – but it’s going to take everything I’ve got to not give up. And having these words, this support, will help a lot.

  1. I like to think that when we go through those times it’s to figure ourselves a little more. To learn and to find peace with some solitude so that when a time comes that it’s needed you’d be able to empathize and help another person. Stay strong Blue!

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