133 – hope is on the horizon

Just gonna jot a few thoughts down before I have to head to school.

Didn’t get much sleep last night – 2 hours ish. Was busy doing my three assignments – 2 chem lab reports, one chem synthesis assignment, and one bio reading assignment for tonight’s lab. Going to be a loonnnggg day. Prob not gonna do well on the chem assignments. But I give up. My crappy laptop couldn’t handle the size of the damn excel files (literally took an hour just trying to format graphs since it would freeze for a whole minute every time I changed something). Not sure if the stereochemistry in my assignment is right. I should also rewrite it in pen. But meh. If I have time.

Really could’ve used my long Thanksgiving weekend better. Didn’t really use it at all. Spent it working, hanging out with friends, and doing the things I always do when I don’t really want to study. Sigh. Procrastination habits die hard.

Sometimes I think I’m just too overwhelmed from everything to do work. Too many hours of class, too many hours of extra stuff (work, volunteer, ultimate, CSU stuff, Brain Day stuff). I think I’m already mentally exhausted. It’s barely been a month.

I know I can do better.

But darn is it hard to keep my life in balance.

Still haven’t picked up my new phone.

Really, really want to.

But no. freaking. time.

On the bright side, I haven’t felt depressed in a while.

Though I’m not sure tired is any better of a feeling.

Not even sure if I’m stressed anymore. Everything feels numbed down.

But there are always brighter days ahead. I can feel it.

Always hanging on to the hope of the upcoming horizon.

The thought drives me forward.

And maybe this time, something will be different.

Maybe I’ll be able to change.

I know it’s highly unlikely, but it doesn’t hurt to say it.

Doesn’t hurt to try.

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