102 – The pain won’t stop.

I must’ve done something really bad for my body to die on me like this.

First the five-day migraine.

Then my period.

And now I have what appears to be the flu.

My throat hurts like crazy and my head won’t stop throbbing. A fever slips in and out. My cough keeps getting worse.

Thank god for Advil.

Because of the physical stress and the fact that I just don’t feel well, I haven’t been studying much. I got destroyed on my mid-term last week. Never thought I’d get fifty percent on a test until now. Inorganic chemistry….I thought I got it, but really, I didn’t understand a thing. Molecular Orbital theory is super hard to visualize sometimes…especially when you’re under the pressure of a 50 minute test. Seriously, there wasn’t enough time.

I have a mid-term tomorrow. I’m debating missing it. I already got my doctor to sign my note today. But the mid-term is worth 30%. I don’t want it reweighted onto the final (that would make the final 70%) nor do I really want it weighted on my assignments (worth 30% at the moment, but there’s no telling how well can do on those). If I can get a good few hours of studying (fine, cramming) in tonight, I know I can end up with a decent mark. I have a lab in the morning though so I don’t know how tired I’ll be. Or how sick. If I break out in a fever before the mid-term, I’ll definitely skip it. There’s no point of pushing myself off a cliff for the sake of my GPA (which is already turning into crap anyway).

I miss home. Exam schedule comes out in a few days so I should be able to book my flight home soon. Hopefully I’ll be able to be home for a few weeks.

I got the NSERC USRA (Undergraduate Student Research Award) so I’ll be doing chemistry all summer. Fun. It’ll give me a good idea of how chemistry academia is like though. I hope I’ll be able to do well. Going to have to go speak to potential supervisors this month. When I get better, anyway.

I just need to survive tomorrow. Then I’ll be okay. I’ll have Reading Week to recover.

Almost couldn’t get out of bed today.

There’s little motivation when everything hurts.

I’m ready to just break down.

But I’ll recover.

I always do.


7 thoughts on “102 – The pain won’t stop.

  1. I’m worried that you are pushing yourself way too hard and the stress is catching up with you, have you heard of psychosomatic symptoms? they manifest and affect the body, you need to reward yourself every so often.

      • Thank you to you both.
        I have been as kind as I could possibly be to myself. (:
        It was my fault for hanging around my sick boyfriend while my immune system was weak (due to being anemic during my period).

        The main cause of stress for me is due to procrastination so it’s really my fault (although that migraine wasn’t even caused by stress and was just really unfortunate that it caused me stress in the end since I couldn’t study with it).

        I’m going to take a lot of time resting next week. You guys take care also. ❤

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