97 – I am not alone.

First day back to school.

It was freezing. The winter had stayed at a fairly decent temperature for so long that I forgot how cold Toronto can get. My legs were freezing and my hands went numb. I’m going to be needing extra layers this week. And a new set of hands please.

I really don’t want to buy textbooks. My poor wallet.

I didn’t sit alone in any of my classes today (so this will be an update to one of my New Year’s Resolutions or NYRs, 3/5 classes down!), granted I was sort of cheating as I knew most of the people I sat with today from last semester…but it felt really reassuring to know that there are people in my classes that I can depend on. The real challenge is finding friends in my remaining two classes. I don’t know anyone taking either of those two psychology courses so I will have to make an effort to get to know people. It may take a couple of classes, but I’m sure that if I make the effort, there will be classmates that don’t mind reciprocating.

I will continue making updates to my NYRs throughout the year as I mentioned in that post. It’ll be nice to track the change in my life for once and to really make that effort in self-improvement.

I think I am struggling in my two chemistry classes (it’s only the first day, but one of them is a full year course). I may have to ask for help to fully understand the material. I need to make that effort or my grades will suffer.

Marks from last semester are taking their sweet time to upload. I hope they get lost somewhere and we all get A’s.

I thoroughly enjoyed my social psych class today. The professor was charismatic, interesting, and used examples to illustrate concepts. It was refreshing after the headache of a psych class I took last semester. I’m really looking forward to learning more.

After my psych class (which ended at 9pm, ugh), I engaged in a somewhat random conversation with a girl that was also heading home. She made a comment about how it was good that the timer for the subway was 2 minutes as opposed to 4 minutes heading the other way. Optimism. That was also refreshing. I don’t know if she intended to strike a conversation with me or was simply remarking on that out loud, but it was fun to just engage in casual conversation. I found out that she worked at the U of T bookstore and had taken the same social psych class with the same professor two years back.  Sometimes, it can be really pleasant to just talk to a stranger without the intention of becoming friends or with some kind of ulterior motive. I wished her a safe journey home and we parted ways after arriving at St. George Station.

Having just recently walked out of my social psych class, I began to analyze the situation and see it from a different perspective. If she had been homeless or of the opposite sex or someone that intimidated me, the conversation may not have been so pleasant. I have had many homeless people come up to me and say things casually – I would respond if only to be nice and courteous, but I would often not want to continue the conversation. It made me think of the all the social factors involved in such a social interaction. It’s sad, because I’m sure that many people often want to engage in a conversation with someone else for the sake of not feeling so alone in this world, but there are so many barriers to consider when crossing that line. Gender, race, background…getting to know someone is not an easy feat. Even the simple act of engaging a casual conversation with someone is not an easy feat. It takes two to tango. What a fitting idiom for this situation. With this line of thinking, it’s hard to dream of a world where everyone gets along. There are too many walls to break down in order to even get people to talk. To get people to accept each other’s ideals…that may be a goal too high to consider. But I suppose, we’ll do what we can, remaining openminded and accepting of other people’s opinions.

I suppose a major factor in this situation would be the level of extroversion in each participant. Those who are more open to conversation with others will more likely be able to initiate the conversation. The rest is up to the other person. I think that deep down inside, we all don’t mind a little bit of conversation. I’m introverted myself, but I do enjoy talking to people. There’s something biologically wired within all of us that makes us crave social contact. Something primal. Something to think about: wallflowers.

In order to pull myself back from the flurry of thoughts, I think I’ll end my post here.

In summary, I think I think too much.


5 thoughts on “97 – I am not alone.

  1. It’s true you are not alone! I’m glad you are finding people to talk to, and your had some very good comments at the end about social interaction. Wishing you the best with your classes!

  2. You will be fine through all of it! first comes the uncomfortable feelings and next thing you know you will enjoy the classes and courses 🙂 for some reason I thought you were always in Vancouver though 😀

  3. Pingback: 2015 New Year’s Resolutions | Stronghold

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