71 – I’m back?

Not blogging has been really rough on me. I’ve been having a lot of interesting dreams as well as terrifying nightmares and it’s really taking a number on me. I think it helps to write about them. Try to decipher them, but not hold them as important or meaningful – Freud made the mistake of putting too much emphasis on dream interpretation…While they may contain messages,  I think in the unconscious world, imagination has free reign. And imagination is not fact, not truth, not meaning, it just is.

I’ve been pretty isolated from friends and just people in general but happily so – it’s nice to be home and not sick and cold. I do need to focus on being productive though. And not procrastinating. Sloth often has the best of me.

I want to write more. My passion has whittled down to a tiny flame and I can’t wait to help that flame grow into a hearty fireplace blaze. It will take a lot of time. A lot of learning. A lot of discovering just who I am as a writer. It’ll be challenging and fun. I just hope that I’ll let myself travel the road instead of standing still at the starting line. Motivation. Is. Key.

I’ve been reading lots and have finally dragged myself to the library again (well technically my mom drove me, but that’s beside the point). I never got a library card in Toronto, so it’s nice to just dive into that kind of atmosphere again. The first few steps into the place felt like walking into a sea of knowledge. I love it. I crave it. It’s euphoric.

Been watching a lot of Law and Order: SVU, catching up before the next season starts later this year (or next year). I love the show. It gives me a slice of life. Transports me into a world I will probably never venture in. Some episodes terrify me. Others leave me emotionally moved. It’s a good show.

The earth is beautiful. Gargantuan. Expanding for miles on miles in its complexity, mystery, and invocation. I could explore it forever and still never tire.

But internally, inside everyone of us is an equally beautiful world. With its own knots and tangles waiting to unfold, to be expressed. And I love it. Mind OR matter. There is much to discover here as well. And many of us choose not to go there. But I think it’s important. To understand ourselves before moving on to understand everything around us. Just a thought.

On a more relevant note, this blog needs a makeover. Desperately. I’ll give it one soon.

I have a lot to catch up on. Hopefully I’ll get back to reading blogs as well as writing them. 🙂

One thought on “71 – I’m back?

  1. Nessa, this is beautiful…….and yes, within each of us, a universe awaiting our own redemptive light. We are not limited by the rules of the world, but only by our own fears. With each breaking, a little more light pours in. We are more intimate, enduring, worthy than we know. You are……….love. ~ Bobbie

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