in the absence of containment

the dreary rain invigorates a sadness in my heart

stress

confusion

hate

an amalgamation of the dark

i find myself regretting when no one else’s around

longing and misfortune drenched into the murky

hollow ground

 

corrupted algorithms

written in the trenches of my catatonic soul

i’ve lost the strength to fight them

lost the rhythm

long ago

 

wander to and wander fro

i’m helpless on my own

my sword rusted

shriveled up

my horse led astray

and this overwhelming bitterness

that will not go away

 

trudging forward into hysteria

my smile blended in with all the tears

i’m afraid it’s a little late now

too far beyond control

oh please just stop the battle

oh please just let me go

 

i thought i had surpassed this

gone through to higher land

but time and time and time again

you remind me

who truly

has the upper hand

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One thought on “in the absence of containment

  1. I love this, Nessa. Surely it speaks to the fragile nature of life (and love). And yet, I feel compelled to remind you that always you have the upper hand. Depression will take all you give it. Dare I encourage you to give it not a thing………..an empty plate and a broken bed. 🙂 Love you always. Look up, my dear one. ~ Bobbie

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