44

I won’t tell you what happened today.

I won’t tell you how the first time you said it, the tears bubbled near my eyes and it took everything to suppress them. I won’t tell you how I left to take a nap in order to erase the sensation.

I won’t tell you how the second time you said it, the tears really came and there wasn’t anything I could do to stop them. I ran away then and that is all you know of it.

I won’t tell you how I found the best friend I never had today in someone far more patient than you are. I don’t want to lose him almost as much as I don’t want to lose you.

I won’t tell you how no matter how upset I previously was, I couldn’t hold it against you when you talked to me again.

Was today my fault? Or was it yours?

I don’t need this right now.

I have far too many things on my mind.

I don’t need you right now.

Please don’t ever tell me “I don’t care” again.

Because the next time you do, I might not be able to handle it.

I might not speak to you again.

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7 thoughts on “44

  1. There’s a far deeper hurt than the “I don’t care”; it’s the hurt of thinking you’d never see or hear from someone again. When people we love make choices, we don’t always understand them. But we can go on loving them, just the same. It isn’t a matter of comprehension. It’s a matter of forgiveness, a matter of love. ~ I love this, Nessa. I hurt with you but I rejoice with you too. We don’t miss what we don’t love. ~ Bobbie

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