25 – I’ve been a little frustrated lately.

First of all, I’m very sorry that I haven’t been as active as I usually am with reading everyone’s posts. I do enjoy reading them and I hope to get back into reading everything I’ve missed while I’ve been semi-away. Thanks for being understanding about that. 🙂

I don’t know how, but somehow I’ve found myself stuck in this void of frustration. It’s confusing and thinking about it just makes it worse. It’s completely blocking my creative spirit and my motivation to do much of anything. It’s a sickening feeling, really. In any case, I’ll try not to let it get to me. It’s probably just this sense of disorganization – of having so much to do and no idea where to start. Probably just another downside to being a procrastinator.

I went to my writing club yesterday and got some amazing feedback on some of the poems I’ve published here on this blog. I shall be working a little harder to improve my style from now on. 🙂 It’s a shame that the club is ending soon. I do so love talking about and crtiquing writing. It really makes me question why I’m not becoming a writer. Time to plunge forward and look for my creative spirit back!

Over all, I’m feeling fine. I went into a state of depression and utmost irritation the other day…but it may just have something to do with increased hormones and whatnot. I’ve been having a little too much coffee lately for my own good…Time to cut down. Once every other week is probably better for someone my age. Then again, I do take it with far more cream and sugar than the average person…It’s probably more sugar than caffeine that gives me the rush. I swear I’m addicted to sugar (and I hope to God I don’t become diabetic).

I’ve successfully trained myself to become less worried about my grades at school. It’s good, I suppose. Less stress.

I haven’t done a puzzle in a while…I think it might be good for me to start one again. Keep my mind thinking logically. Or just the heck of it. I love puzzles. And riddles. Do share if you have some good ones.

In any case, I’ll try to be a little more active. Thanks to anyone who has supported me so far. I love you all. (:



—tumblr: I have a terrible sweet tooth.


27 thoughts on “25 – I’ve been a little frustrated lately.

  1. What you’re describing sounds eerily familiar to me. I think it’s the curse of being an IB student, the “IB Curse” if you wish 😛
    At the very least, you’re certainly not the only one who feels a bit like this from time to time!

  2. It can be a real challenge to be active when you are feeling down and frustrated. I know the feeling my friend and I wish I could offer you some amazing advice on how to pull through this. Sometimes for me… it is a good time to write but that will be the extent of what I do. Maybe not an entire poem but line by line until it has taken shape into what I want.
    Coffee is delicious. 🙂
    Please hang in there… your pep will come back, sometimes time is all we have to pull through. Maybe try to do a little bit of something different that you enjoy.
    Hope you are feeling better soon. ♥

  3. We all go through such stages. Im glad you are feeling better. 🙂 Frustration is good sometimes, it makes you push hard and farther. And I share with you the love of Sugar and Chocolate Ice Cream. 😀

  4. Talking to a dog whisperer recently I learned some great tricks. If you have an animal that freaks out when it hears the sound of fireworks, you can put it in a tight fitting jacket while it feels safe, (reminding it to feel it’s body, which sometimes we forget to do too), and it will weather the disturbance well. So get yourself some tights, a top that is form fitting and snug.

    I went to a therapist one time for advice on my depression. His best advice to me was: “learn to ride the tiger”

    Some people will experience depression or extended sadness. I do repeatedly, and probably will forever. It’s because I care too much, I’m a perpetual optimist, an idealist, and I’m wise enough to see through the politics and find truths that make me sad…..and motivated to make it better when I recover.

    You’ll pull out of it. Drink water. Sweat. Eat. Go to a sunnier lattitude, to get some vitamin D, or get some synthetic sunlight from a grow bulb. Find a friend to touch you, probably you just need petting, or at least that’s what I say to myself, because it’s true for me.

    I hope this was helpful and that you swing back to the jolly, putting a grin on your chin, and a pep in your step.

    • Thank you Benjamin, I feel the same way. There are these periods of sadness that I simply cannot shake out of my mood..but I know that there’s always going to be the bright periods also – when I can forget everything that’s holding me back.
      Your support is much appreciated and your advice? Wonderful. I think I just need some ‘petting’ as you so wonderfully put it. Heh.

  5. You can always do writing as a side gig. I believe in you. You’ll get through the frustration or disorganization; whatever it turns out to be.

    I’m so happy you’re less worried about grades, I think you can still do the work and you will feel much better.

    I love you dearly. 🙂 ❤

  6. You are the norm, Blue. You are not the exception. Everyone I talk to, not kidding, talks about having too much to do and not knowing where to start. I’m ‘retired’ (I don’t like the thought) and I have created so many things to do that there are days when I don’t know where to start. My wife is like that on her job….they keep piling things on (she’s a corporate meeting planner among other things) and she comes home frustrated at not being able to catch up. “Depressed” is a buzz word created a few years back and I have never ‘bought’ it…. Buzz words were invented to categorize situations that were not originally understood my most people…..things and situations not strictly defined and once they were defined….people started making money……’they’ want you to be ‘depressed’ in your mind instead of, let’s say, exhausted, frustrated, without energy to think because of too little sleep or being overwhelmed…….the word allows you to ‘cop’ out and flop down instead of thinking through the situation and talking to yourself that you can do it. If you admit being ‘depressed’ than there are people willing and ready to sell you the right drugs or sell you counselling appointments, all of which you could have over come by yourself. I assume you are young….no matter…you are an excellent writer with a good head on your shoulders and I like your stuff…..keep writing is what I’d say and you are going to be an awesome person (I’m thinking you already are) my best to you, Bluesander!…….tom

    • Thank you so much for your support, Tom. Know that it means a lot to me for you to read what I have written and give your words in response. But when it comes to depression, I must disagree. For many people, it really is a physical illness and possibly something they inherited from their parents. I wouldn’t simply it call it something created out of “buzz” as you say as it is indeed a registered medical illness. However, I can see what you mean. Many people abuse the term now as an excuse for their own misery or failure. Many others take advantage of that in their career by offering medical or psychological treatment. In any case, I don’t like to think one-sidedly on anything – there’s always different ends of a spectrum.
      My best to you too!

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