Suicidal Reverie

I take off my battered helm and glance again at this barren battlefield,

Too long I’ve fought, too long I’ve resisted, and even now, I cannot yield,

My armor’s rusted down the sides and dented in along the hinges,

My eyes trace across the horizon, they are scanning this fauna’s fringes.

This chain pressed o’er my breast feels heavier than a brick,

The coldness of this studded steel threatens to make me sick,

And every thought deems you the martyr and I the villain of this scene,

You, the fallen ruler of a once respected kingdom, and I, the wicked queen.

 

My magic’s run out and no longer can I place these restraints upon my soul,

My mind’s split into two halves that somehow don’t fit to make a whole,

I’m a broken jigsaw puzzle, complete but for one piece

Which has been granted to the devil, the demon’s quite release.

 

My hands linger over my sabre, they yearn for fresh blood,

My fingers dirtied by the fight, covered in thickened mud,

I draw my blade and hold it blindly to the flesh above my throat,

Send off into the Seven Kingdoms, my last wish – my last note.

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27 thoughts on “Suicidal Reverie

  1. Dark drama again, a bleak fairytale well told. It makes great reading! But let the fiction carry the pain and your spirit rise above it. This is where I think your should use your rich ability to dream and fantasize to be an outlet for releasing your burdens and allowing you freedom from them to seek out the comfort of kinder worlds and companions (some of whom I know visit here and show great depth of commitment to your happiness), places and people that will support and care for you better than even you can yourself when struggling.

    • I shall do just that, Kathryn. I hagve this violent tendency of killing things in my writing for the sheer purpose of releasing my frustration and stress…and sometimes anger. A fictional murder is far better than an actual one.

  2. You are able to bring forth some dark emotions, which is sometimes the only way to give them flight and replace them with light.
    This one in particular seems so human, something that illustrates the inner battle we all forge of how animalistic we are in nature, and how divine we are in desire.
    Excellent.
    I was moved and made alive through this poem on a day my soul was a cloudy gray. I love your poems because whether grave or jubilous, I FEEL them inside my heart.
    Thank you.

    • Thanks for sharing this DarkJade, I am glad I read it 🙂 The imagery is so strong and captivating. I feel like the last line gives a promise a good thing to come…the Seven Kingdoms, maybe she will go and rule over there.

    • I actually haven’t been reading that, but was always curious of the concept. Will pick up the book soon. 🙂
      I felt the allusion accurate depicted how culturally split I felt at the moment.

        • Oh no, the reference is the one and the same. I’ve just never read the book. Heard a lot about it though.
          Though at the same time…the reference is a lot geared towards the game. Sorry, I’m a gamer. :s
          And well the fact that it’s split into seven kingdoms is enough of a cultural split reference, no?

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