I get worried sometimes when I see someone who looks like they’re lost, depressed, or troubled in any way and regardless of whether I know who they are or not. In this way, I suppose I have an increased sense of empathy – I know how they feel. I don’t help often enough. I feel like I can’t reach other and if I did, I’d only make things worse.
Some people just need to be alone and need to be given time to sort things out. I’m one of those people and so I can understand that feeling more than anything else. Yet, I feel like isolation isn’t the way to go. You can’t always fix things all on your own. You wish for someone by your side. I want to be that someone for someone else – to make up for all those times when I had no one.
I know this sounds like I’m trying to help in places where I’m not really needed. Like I’m trying to help for the sake of helping. I’m really not. I don’t need to help anyone, but I want to. Because depression isn’t fun. Isolation and loneliness isn’t just something you should adapt to. Opening up to someone can be hard. You don’t have to if you’re scared, but know that there are people you can open up to.
I speak to poetry, I really do. I don’t just write it, spin tales off some crazy dream, I put a piece of myself into every stanza, every word. And nothing, nothing ever comes easy. Writing was my medium, my way of escaping that darkness. It makes me feel like I’m not alone. And I know I’m not anymore.
But I hide. I’m a coward and I’ll admit that now. I don’t like anyone thinking that I’m weak or that I want their pity. I don’t. I don’t need it. I’d much rather have the love.
I’m a hypocrite. I want to help others before getting help myself. I like to think I don’t need it. I’m very stupid like that.
In any case, I’m not afraid to talk about myself, but I really want to hear about you.
If you don’t need my help, that’s great. But I’m here when and if you do.
—tumblr: hey, stop hiding.