I fall asleep in class all the time now. It’s not a good habit and I hope that the trend will stop in its tracks right here and now. I wish. I sleep way too late and I like sleep way too much. Only sugar keeps me awake (caffeine gives me too much of a migraine after). It’s not that the program is giving us too much work. I just don’t work. I don’t like working. I need to fix that mindset – that I know more than anything.
Sometimes, I’ll vent my frustration on objects and people that have nothing to do with why I’m feeling frustrated. Most times, it’s myself that I’m frustrated with. Stay out of my way if I’m ever in a bad mood. I don’t really want to hurt you. I think.
I do like hurting people..? I am not a sadist.
In any case, the school routine is taking its toll on me. I can no longer sleep as long as I want. That hurts me. Kind of. I have too many clubs and CAS activities. Far too many. I should cut down or I’ll work myself to death. Metaphorically speaking, of course. Yet, somehow it doesn’t seem that far away from the truth. I have way more than I can possibly balance. It’s not healthy. Especially since I’m not a workaholic and don’t intend to be.
Procrastination. You plague me.
Finally, I’ll get to the reason why I’m writing this blog anyway. I need some help deciding what to write for my extended essay (EE). Sure, it’s a million years away (more like months), but I want to figure out what to do now.
What I really wanted to do was do my EE in French, but apparently it’s impossibly if you’re in French B and not fluent in the language. I really wanted to perfect my French – to make it fluent. I guess that’s expecting too much. Reading articles in French would take a lot of time. Books? I can’t possibly rely on Google Translate anymore. Actually, that was kind of the point. Write my EE in French so that I won’t ever need Google again for help. Fat chance of that happening now since the IBC (IB Coordinator) and my French teacher both rejected the idea. Sigh.
Now I’m caught between a rock and a hard place. History or English. My only two other choices, really. I have no intention of doing it on Chemistry or Physics. The last thing i need is another Science Fair project.
So for History, I was thinking about looking into Quebec’s struggle for Independence (something I wanted to do in French?). I really want to know more about Canada. I might/probably will end up going to McGill – that is, if they accept me. I would love to live in Quebec. I think. It’s hard to say since I’ve never been there. Regardless, if I’m going to live in a whole other province, I should know more about it. So there’s the reasoning for that.
For English, the reasoning is fairly obvious. I want to do a stylistic analysis of Sylvia Plath. This would probably involve reading her poems over a couple dozen times. She had her own problems and I feel like I can relate to her. My interest in poetry is no doubt compelling me to research further into the subject. Besides, English is the easiest EE to write as all you have to do is read and analyze. History is far more complex, it requires dozens of sources and accurate citations.
I feel like the two of them are equal on the scale. I would benefit from doing both and I do carry an interest for both.
The problem is deciding which one to do.
Quebec or poetry?