Depression

She will claw at her own weaknesses and tear herself apart. She will criticize every modicum until nothing is left at last. She will kill the good inside of her as she exterminates the bad. She will do what it takes to destroy the girl she sees in the mirror – to erase the existence she doesn’t want. She will.

He’s different. He won’t admit his troubles and he’ll hide away his secrets. He’ll press his head against the pillow and be consumed by sheer insomnia. He’s hiding too much. He’s not letting it out. He wrestles with the pain day in and day out. He’ll lie to his friends and smile like a ghost. He won’t try to change for he thinks he’s alright. He won’t make a move because he’s scared of the consequence. He won’t.

She’ll lose all her friends someday due to her self-destructive personality.

He’ll lose all his friends someday due to his lies and fabrications.

She won’t meet him and he won’t meet her. Their worlds will not collide.

They’re not the same. Not at all. Yet somehow, they are plagued and haunted by something too similar. The monster that lurks in the darkest of souls.

It’s not easy to hunt and not easy to kill what has grown for so long. Her desperation has amounted to nothing and the creature has only fortified itself. It will eat her alive.

His monster is suppressed, but growing in power. He won’t be able to hold out for long.

Neither will look for help. One tries to change and the other tries every possible method not to. Yet the both of them will not slay this monster by doing what they do. Monsters aren’t meant to be fought alone. Monsters aren’t meant to be ignored.

She thinks herself a hero, a warrior with a mission. She thinks herself substantial enough to kill the beast. She’ll draw her sword and face it head on. No armor. She has no armor. Her delicate self lies vulnerable to the monster.

He hides in his castle, building more and more walls. He’s upgrading the defenses and ignoring the threat. He won’t attack. He’ll defend for his life. Still, all walls will crack eventually. All castles will erode. He can’t run forever.

Time is running out for the two of them.

There’s no way to make it all disappear.

Reality always hurts the most. Reality always finds its way through the gaps even if you try to shut it out. Reality doesn’t wait for you to get better and it won’t wait for them either. Yet somehow it’s not a matter of what reality is, but what is done with it.

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “Depression

  1. This one reminded me of Ellen Hopkins work, she deals with real issues like your poem(s). You have a gift 🙂
    I like the change from her to him, very nice.

    This might sound like a weird question but it’s late at night and well…does your website have snow falling…?

    • Haha yeah. My website now has snow until January 4th. (:
      I LOVE ELLEN HOPKINS. I’ve read most of her books. I’m not sure if I’m influenced by her at all, but it’s very possible. My friends gave me a copy of Perfect for my birthday…haven’t gotten around to it, but I definitely will. She’s an amazing writer.

      • That’s a nice touch on the site.
        When you do get to it and if you remember let me know if you liked it. I think subconsciously, I am waiting for the paperback version of it.
        Whatever the case, this style is yours, it just so happens that you liked hers 🙂 Keep writing, though I’m sure you don’t need me to tell you but either way. 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s